2 in one day? no way. yes way.
i do not like today. it's turned out to be a sucky day.
ray lamontagne was sold out. sold out. the one thing i've been looking forward to. i stood outside for magical tickets from harry potter, but so was everyone else.
i have so much anger built up inside and i'm starting to not trust anyone.
i don't trust anyone at work which is pretty much where my friends are right now since i'm there so much. i don't like a woman i work with and she pretty much told me in our "we need to work things out" conversation that she's not the only one who talks bad about me. how freaking rude and uncalled for is that?! now, i think she's lying to me to make herself look better from talking crap about me...but it's got me all insecure now. to make matters worse, everything is rocky on the regular life i lead outside of work. i'm starting to really dislike a friend and i'm trying really hard to pray that God will take those feelings away from my brain. i want to like them. i feel like i'm in the middle of a town i shouldn't be in the middle of. i'm in a new friendship and it wont go past small talk on both ends. i really wish i could be in crush with someone; i wish someone would crush back. it makes me feel pretty and normal. and i'm really sad that ro has never bought groceries and she's "lived" here since may.
i'm not sure if i'm getting real friendships back and that scares me.
i need to cry, but i can't get anything out. it's stuck inside my face.
8.17.2005
allergic to sharkbites
i went swimming with jeff wooten, bradley, mick and three gay black ballerinas. not only was it my second time in a pool all summer, it was a lot of fun! i practically stayed in the deep in the whole time, which is really scary and a big step for an i-cant-swimmer. even more importantly, i jumped into the deep end. it's just so scary, i never feel like i'm coming up. i freak out underwater and search search search for the surface, no luck. and then when i think i'm about to die, my head pops up above surface. i'm alive!
bradley told us the story of how he lost his virginity. he was in new orleans and he cheated on his girlfriend laney. this girlfriend of his went to my old church...what a small world. anyway, bradley mentioned how disgusted he was that the girl's bra and panties didn't match...and made this particular hand motion that i'm assuming meant his boner went down. he was disgusted she had on white underwear and a brown bra!? are you kidding me? i didn't think real guys thought about those things. he should have been happy that she was hookin him up with some humping action, and less concerned about what she was or wasn't wearing.
this is my last week of summer and i'm trying to make it awesome to make up for all the sucky weeks i had. a lot of people have loved this summer, which makes me feel abnormally freaky for not liking this summer.
time in! as i was saying, i felt bad for not having a fun summer, and then i realized the possibilities of having a fun fall! i'm excited for school to start back, and to have routine in my life. my friendships are stronger during the school year. possibly because i don't have too much extra time on my hands so i try to make the most of what i have. but at the same time, these four months have made me forget what routine is like, so the idea of balancing school, a job, and friends boggles my mind!
bradley told us the story of how he lost his virginity. he was in new orleans and he cheated on his girlfriend laney. this girlfriend of his went to my old church...what a small world. anyway, bradley mentioned how disgusted he was that the girl's bra and panties didn't match...and made this particular hand motion that i'm assuming meant his boner went down. he was disgusted she had on white underwear and a brown bra!? are you kidding me? i didn't think real guys thought about those things. he should have been happy that she was hookin him up with some humping action, and less concerned about what she was or wasn't wearing.
this is my last week of summer and i'm trying to make it awesome to make up for all the sucky weeks i had. a lot of people have loved this summer, which makes me feel abnormally freaky for not liking this summer.
time in! as i was saying, i felt bad for not having a fun summer, and then i realized the possibilities of having a fun fall! i'm excited for school to start back, and to have routine in my life. my friendships are stronger during the school year. possibly because i don't have too much extra time on my hands so i try to make the most of what i have. but at the same time, these four months have made me forget what routine is like, so the idea of balancing school, a job, and friends boggles my mind!
8.13.2005
lie sins & registration?
i've been thinking way too many thoughts about license photos lately. i'm scheduled for a new license photo op december 2006...but i am ready for a new one. the one i have now is from when i was 17, and it's not even my "funny" picture. my learners license could make it into a book that someone would sell on the front table at urban outfitters that would have "what were they thinking?" license pictures. that's actually a good idea for a coffee table book...i'll be so rich and spend my summers in japan hanging with my japa-friends and walking around town wearing one of my 5 airbrushed "see-through" skirts (pictured many entries prior to this one)
i'm assuming you've all seen sluts before, right? have you ever seen an animal (ex: deer, cat, pony, t-rex) freeze up in front of your car on the road; deer/cat/pony/t-rex in headlights? imagine a 16 year old girl, the wish-they-could look-like-a -hoe-to- attract-senior-guys kind of gal wearing a sheer purple shirt and sporting long highlighted hair and a lot of black eyeliner circling her eyelids. the flash was so bright; my face looked so greasy and my eyes were the size of pingpong balls.
everyone seems to play the "look at my license" game, and i wish wish WISH that was the picture i could show off. all i have is my lousy boring sweet girl photo with my hair pulled back and a huge smile on my face.
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a friend of mine played this game where he couldn't use the word "I" all day. he didn't last very long. it made me realize that almost every sentence out of my mouth is about me. i'm trying to work on that and talking about food less. the person writing this entry notices most when she meets new people that she, the person writing this entry, talks about food WAY too much, wondering if the new friend thinks she's a secret fatty.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
i'm assuming you've all seen sluts before, right? have you ever seen an animal (ex: deer, cat, pony, t-rex) freeze up in front of your car on the road; deer/cat/pony/t-rex in headlights? imagine a 16 year old girl, the wish-they-could look-like-a -hoe-to- attract-senior-guys kind of gal wearing a sheer purple shirt and sporting long highlighted hair and a lot of black eyeliner circling her eyelids. the flash was so bright; my face looked so greasy and my eyes were the size of pingpong balls.
everyone seems to play the "look at my license" game, and i wish wish WISH that was the picture i could show off. all i have is my lousy boring sweet girl photo with my hair pulled back and a huge smile on my face.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
a friend of mine played this game where he couldn't use the word "I" all day. he didn't last very long. it made me realize that almost every sentence out of my mouth is about me. i'm trying to work on that and talking about food less. the person writing this entry notices most when she meets new people that she, the person writing this entry, talks about food WAY too much, wondering if the new friend thinks she's a secret fatty.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
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